Top 5 Modern Means of Tension

1. E.M.I.
	Works on the principle of “spending before earning”. A family tragedy, some urgency can cause us to default on EMI’s, which is followed up by goons at our doorsteps. Since we have already spent the money there is no options but to keep paying the EMI’s. This destroys the basic premise of happy living, “Live within your means”.

2. Extensive Travel
	Globalization has its demerits. Urban lifestyle involves extensive air travel for business purposes. Many people are forced to live out of their suitcases. This adds extreme pressure. Jet lag becomes an addiction and tension keeps accumulating like anything.

3. Career to Choose
	A son of a potter became a potter. There was nothing like, “Choosing a Career”. It has become a modern demon which destroys much of our early life and by the time we settle on a particular career, we find out we don’t like it any bit. The grumbling stays on eating into our peace.

4. Power/Water cuts
	Sans the concept of power or water distribution, people didn’t have to deal with the cuts. Water was taken right out of lakes and oil lamps were used for light. The modern society is so dependent on power and water supply that frequent cuts (demand-supply), leaves us irritated.

5. Marriage on rocks
	Marriage was a lifelong bond and concept of divorce was not known. These days tension created by divorce, court case, heart break is too much to handle. Good were the days when society chose a match for you and you lived ever together.

…to follow: Top 5 Modern Means to Ease Tension

अंगुलियाँ तेरी

गुनगुनाती हैं नए तराने,

अहसासों का सैलाब लिए,

कुछ न कहकर सब कह जाती,

तेरी यह जालिम अंगुलियाँ|

 

कमल की कोमल पंखुड़ियां,

छू देती हैं, सिरहन करके,

होने की मेरे करती पुष्टी,

तेरी यह मादक अंगुलियाँ|

 

हाथों में लेकर पुच्के/गुजिया,

ओठों तक तेरे जो पहुंचाती,

कभी आह भरी, कभी चाह भरी,

तेरी यह पूरक अंगुलियाँ|

 

शोभा हीरे की तुझसे है,

जो अंगूठी बनके बैठा है,

हीरे की चमक को चमकाती,

तेरी यह यौवन अंगुलियाँ|

 

जाते में मुझको पकड़ा था,

बाहों में भींच के जकड़ा था,

बालों, कपडों को खींच रही,

तेरी यह गुमसुम अंगुलियाँ|

 

दिन था बुरा, परेशां था में,

सर पर मेरे वो शीतल स्पर्श,

हाथ लगाकर दर्द किया फुर्र,

थकान मिटाती यह अंगुलियाँ|

 

लाल की लाली में डूबीं कभी,

कभी हरियाई हरे की छाई है,

नाखूनों पर छितरे सतरंग से,

इन्द्रधनुष सी तेरी यह अंगुलियाँ|

 

वो बारिश में तले पकोड़े थे,

गरम गरम औ सुरख सुरख,

उनपर एक छाप सी छोड़ गयीं,

तेरी यह पाँचों अंगुलियाँ|

 

साथ साथ थे पकडे हाथ,

तुझे अपना बनाया मैंने था,

पहना के अंगूठी प्रेम की,

मेरी हो गयीं, तेरी अंगुलियाँ||

Midnight Sketches: Imitation

Imitation

Cage

Kajol

Shootout in the Rain

First full-fledged down pour of the season and Mumbai was left reeling. My weekend plans stood canceled as they involved a bit of travelling. I decided to cool my heels at home instead.

Late afternoon, a news came trickling in about shootout of a veteran journalist. Given the violent times we live in, I would not have given the story, a second hearing. But few keywords caught my attention. Apparently the shootout took place near to my house; on the road that I take daily. Another of such tragedies that I have come up close. The last being when an air hostess leaped off the building I lived in.

These incidents do leave a sad feeling. However as cold as it may sound, they don’t affect us anymore as far as personal security is concerned. I didn’t leave the building after the said suicide. I will take the same road tomorrow. It becomes just news. And then the calls, “Heard a shootout happened where you live. Were you there? Did you see anything?” and other such queries.

In another hour or so I had almost forgotten what had happened. I was just waiting for the rains to subside to get on with the evening. But they never did. I decided to go for a stroll to the park nearby. No sooner had I stepped out of my building did I see dozens of media satellite vans lined up. I wondered why. Then I remembered the shootout. My building is adjacent to the police station and whole media was there to cover the story.

I abandoned the idea of the walk and came back to the apartment. It was time for my evening snacks.

Of Cricket, Suresh, Sachin and Serbian

Netizens woke up today to “Suresh Raina is God” updates on social networking websites. Apparently when “Suresh Raina is God” is translated to Serbian and back to English, Google Translate, gives us “Sachin Tendulkar is God”.  Sachin fans are going crazy ever since, reaffirming their faith in all what is Google.

Let me jot down in brief, what Google says, how Google Translate works.

Not Word By Work
It’s not a word by word translation. In the sense that “I am God” in Hindi does not translate to “मैं हूँ भगवान”, but Google Translate does it perfectly to, “मैं भगवान हूँ”.

Machine Guess Work
It’s all a guess work. Large amounts of documents already translated by human translators have been scanned. Google Translate analyses the patterns to find best suitable translation. Google calls it, “statistical machine translation”.

Correct the Mistakes
Google asks for your contribution to make Translate better. If you come across an anomaly, select the better alternative provided. This is fed back to the analyzer for future reference.

I did some investigation on my own keeping the above explainations in mind. Below are the results with my weird theories.

1. Cricket, Sachin, Suresh and Serbian

English	Serbian	English
Suresh Raina is God	Суресх Раина је Бог	Sachin Tendulkar is God
Suresh Raina is a match Fixer	Суресх Раина је меч Фикер	Sachin Tendulkar is a match Fixer
Suresh Raina is bowled out	Суресх Раина се докотрљао се	Sachin Tendulkar is bowled up
Suresh Raina is run out	Суресх Раина је понестало	Sachin Tendulkar was run out
Suresh Raina is playing cricket Sachin Tendulkar	Суресх Раина игра крикет са Сацхин Тендулкар	Sachin Tendulkar playing cricket with Sachin Tendulkar

If we associate Suresh Raina with cricket in any sense, Translate interprets it as Sachin Tendulkar as far as Serbian and English is concerned. If we recall, Suresh Raina was hailed by Wisden, Bible of Cricket, as one of the most promising lad when he first surfaced on the cricket arena. He was hailed as the next Sachin Tendulkar by cricket enthusiasts and pundits. Google Translate might be looking into those very reports for all we know. Also Suresh seems quite similar to Sachin even in English language.

2. Others are fine

English	Serbian	English
Virender Shewag is God	Вирендер Схеваг је Бог	Virender Shevag God
Sourav Ganguly is God	Соурав Гангули је Бог	Sourav Ganguli God
Rahul Dravid is God	Рахул Дравид је Бог	Rahul Dravid is God
Mahendra Singh Dhoni is God	Махендра Сингх Дхони је Бог	Mahendra Singh Dhoni is God

With other cricketers there seems to be no goofiness at all. I was expecting some trick with Virender Sehwag given that he has been hailed as duplicate Sachin. Alas! I was wrong.

3. No Cricket, No Confusion

English	Serbian	English
Suresh Raina	Суресх Раина	Suresh Raina
Suresh Raina is a doctor	Суресх Раина је лекар	Suresh Raina is a doctor
Suresh Raina eat	Суресх Раина једу	Suresh Raina eat
I met Suresh Raina	Сам упознао Раина Суресх	I met Suresh Raina
Suresh Raina met Sachin Tendulkar	Суресх Раина састао Сацхин Тендулкар	Suresh Raina met Sachin Tendulkar

If we use Suresh Raina, independent of any cricketing context, there is no funny business at all. Raina will not be able to catch up with Sachin in his off field life it seems.

4. Another of Google’s Prank

It might have been hardcoded by Google as a prank on cricket crazy net users in India. They are well known for such jokes. If it is a ploy, it sure is working. Wait for a press release, they will admit soon, if there is anything to it.

Google Translate has a lot many tricks up its sleeve. Keep exploring. Coz that’s what Jesus (Google) wants us to do. One of them being:

English	Vietnamese	English
Will Justin Bieber ever hit puberty	Justin Bieber sẽ bao giờ đến tuổi dậy thì	Justin will never reach puberty

Now that’s nasty of Google. What has Justin done to anyone?

Scams are good

A leading newspaper carried a story about petition filed by a multi-millionaire 2G accused, asking for a prison cell with less dust and less heat. Apparently he had some health issues as his lawyer pointed out. There were other stories carried out in media about how 2G and CWG VIP detainees were unhappy with the conditions in the prison and have even taken it up with the authorities.

I for one support their demands. In fact in Hinduism, paap-dhona as it is called, this might just be the deed, which would absolve them of their sins. Let me explain, how.

A while ago, a friend forwarded me an e-mail. There were images of a lovely place. It looked like an awesome hotel. Plush rooms, lavish swimming pool, scenic surrounding and appealing facilities. I needed to identify it. As always, I scrolled to the answer directly; was amazed to find out that it was a state penitentiary in Australia.

It was in stark contrast with its Indian counterparts. But given the condition of our slums, when even free people are forced to live in dire conditions, how can the jailed ones be treated any better. Lobbying for better facilities for so called criminals and thugs will only attract bad publicity, given the problems free citizens face day-to-day. Hence no one has ever shown enough courage to take an initiative.

Maybe with these powerful people, our jails are in for a much needed makeover. As they say, “Every ill has its benefits”. These scams might just be the positive catalyst needed for making our prisons a better place.

Refrigerator Infatuation: What is it about?

How many of you have found yourself, opening up the refrigerator door, not looking for anything in particular and shutting the door without taking anything. If you have, don’t worry, you are in good company. According to a survey this refrigerator infatuation seems to be quite common.

When people are tensed, waiting for a phone call, waiting for a result, they tend to run to the refrigerator more. When people are free, with nothing to do, they tend to find solace with their refrigerator. In fact wonder how often have you just entered the house and inadvertently walked up to the refrigerator?

This makes me wonder, “What is it about the refrigerator?”

Is it the cold breeze that hits us as we open the door? Ever felt that sudden rush of cold fresh air that surges out as we open up the baby. Remember those hot days, when we did open up the freezer to cool ourselves off. The refreshing miracle power of the machine!

Is it the enchanting lighting that engulfs us in the dead of the night? One would agree that there is something dull yet attractive about the refrigerator light. Can it be the missing link?

Is it the food that attracts us? It is said, “Our modern skull houses a pre-historic brain”. In the sense whatever our brain reflexes are today, they are borne out by pre-historic experiences. Like we are afraid when we see a snake, but we are barely afraid while crossing a road. When the fact is more people die every year, crossing the road than by a snake bite. It is explained by the fact that pre-historically more people died of snake bite and it was a serious threat to humans. Our reflexes are built on that.

Now, what we store in refrigerator? Food, right? Our basic instinct is to look for food for survival. Refrigerator might be interpreted by our brain as the Provider. We open the door time and again, not looking for food but looking after the food. A filled up refrigerator gives us the secure feeling.

By time and again opening the door, we are trying to safeguard the food and checking if we are okay. Now that’s called protecting the Provider.

General Dyer @ Ramlila Ground

After an unusually long Saturday, I made a last dash to my TV remote, before going to sleep. Little did I know that sleep would be the last thing on my mind soon.

A betaal lookalike yoga guru, who has raised hell about black money, prevalent corruption and a long-dead system, with a tinge of political ambition, was about to be turned a martyr.

A veteran leader from the party in power stated, “We are not afraid of Baba. Had we been afraid, we would have jailed him long ago”. The relevance of his remark came haunting back with the sad scenes from the capital.

Sending in Police and Rapid Action Force at dead of the night to lathi-charge sleeping innocent common men, reeks of colonial hitlerocracy. When I first saw the movie, Rang De Basanti, the scene where peaceful candle light protest was crushed forcefully. I was sure such thing could never happen in my country. China perhaps, but not in India.

What has happened today has shamed me. How can I cite General Dyer now, when Jalianwaala Baag has been re-enacted in Delhi. Lathi-charge, tear gas and burning the stage are akin to the gunshots in today’s democratic times.

Thousands of people who have come from across the country, where were they supposed to go at the dead of the night? Why not do the same operation during the day? Tear gas is to be used on rioters and miscreants, not on peaceful sleeping people.

If I can’t even protest peacefully against the issues that are haunting me, what should I do? Should I become a naxalite? Should I become a terrorist? Should I hang myself? Should I leave my motherland and live a life of an orphan?

Yes, I am corrupt. But I support any such popular movements against corruption. Even if it’s political then so be it. Coz quite frankly, I am simply fed up of being corrupt.

You are not razing down Adarsh. You have not realized a penny out of 2G. You have not brought back even an cent of black money stashed abroad. But you do sent a 2000 strong force to raze down the shivir.

Baba has been extern-ed out of Delhi. If tomorrow I will raise my voice against corruption, Will I be extern-ed too? I think I will quote from a famous movie, Go to hell DK Bose.