ठर्कीपन

बात है उस दिन की, पैदा हुआ था मैं,
सफ़ेद लिबास में पुचकार रही थी वो,
उम्र न देखी, वक़्त न देखा, बस ली फिर्की,
नर्स को ही देखकर हो गया मैं ठर्की|

नर्सरी क्लास का है किस्सा यह,
आगे की कुर्सी पे बैठी थी वो,
खींच दी आहिस्ता से चोटी उसकी,
उसकी नन्ही जुल्फों में उलझा ये ठर्की|

चौथी कक्षा की टीचर जी,
हर बच्चा उन पे मरता था,
कितनों से लड़ा, कितनी तोड़ी बत्तीसी,
ब्लैक बोर्ड की लिखाई ने कर दिया ठर्की|

स्कूल के मास्टर की कोचिंग जाता था,
कुछ अपनापन था वहां, दिल को भाता था,
नंबर अब जो भी दे वो, बेटी भा गयी मास्टर की,
फेल और पास क्या जाने, यह मन तो है ठर्की|

बचपन का दोस्त था जो, एक दिन बोला वो,
नीले दुपट्टे में आई है जो, दिल ले गयी मेरा,
कहने को भाभी होनी थी, पर मर्जी इश्वर की,
समझा लूँगा दोस्त को मैं, न समझे ये दिल ठर्की|

कम्पटीशन का पेपर देने बैठा था, आर या पार,
दो सीट आगे बैठी थी, दिल हुआ बेकरार,
सलेक्श हो जाएगा अगले साल सही,
आज जी भर के देखूं उसको, हो कर ठर्की|

ऑफिस में तो सुधर जा अब, सीधा बन,
शिकायत करेगी, जायेगी नौकरी, होगी कुर्की,
जान दे, दूसरी मिल ही जायेगी नौकरी तो,
आज रोका तो बुरा मान जाएगा दिल ठर्की|

बचपन में सीखा था मैंने,
कैसा भूल गया यह ज्ञान,
अब ना भूलूंगा जीवन भर,
हर दिन जाप करूंगा, जी कर, मर कर|

इश्क में पड़ेगा तो जान से जाएगा,
ऐसा घुसेगा, पानी नहीं पायेगा,
जूतों से पिटवाएगी यह लड़की,
नज़र रख सीधी, मत बन ठर्की||

Secret Talks

Personal Secret is described as something that is known to the person alone and not to any of his acquaintances. Lie is defined as an intentional false statement. They both are related as one leads to another.

Everyone keep secrets. To keep them hidden, they lie. There are various reasons behind. Most common are shame, loss of money, property, love desertion, to brag etc.

I have come across people who kept some weird secrets, told wonderful lies. Some of substance, some just for fun.

1. Kyunki…shhh
A college mate leads the pack. You know how it’s common to deride the ‘Saas-Bahu’ soaps. Well this friend of mine just loved them. The situation was precarious; he couldn’t dare to them watch openly, lest he became butt of all jokes. So he used to download and watch them all alone quietly. As fate would have it, he shared the folder by mistake across the network and the skeletons came tumbling out.

2. Categorically denied
Our society has been divided into class and caste and so is the college admission process. However in some a stigma of being a category student creeps in. Treatment meted out to them could be a reason. There was a guy in our batch, who lied about the same. I won’t go further into the reasons, as the discussion is complex. But when it came out in the open, it left everyone wondering.

3. Had a boyfriend
Most common of them all! Don’t tell about having boyfriend/girlfriend and keep yourself in the market. It’s okay for causal flirting but when done to take advantage, it becomes tasteless. A girl fooled around with a friend to get him to do the academic work allotted to her, while keeping the existence of her boyfriend hidden. Here’s a fact: ‘Guys only help Single Girls’. She knew this well. I can’t say that my friend really cared or so he said later on.

4. From Upstate
We often find people hiding their birth place. Across Europe, I have found people from Pakistan calling them Indians. In Mumbai, few people from UP, Bihar fake their origin to be Delhi. Sometimes out of being scared, sometimes otherwise. A friend of mine introduced himself in the first year as a Delhite. It was only in the final year that we came to know he was from Ghaziabad. He tried to justify by citing NCR. Well reasons can be aplenty. We do still poke him for the same.

5. Opener
A senior at college related to me a funny story. During their first year, a guy told everyone that he was the highest JEE ranked student of their batch. He was called Kholu (common term for rank opener). He enjoyed the limelight for a semester, at the end of which people came to know the truth. They started calling him nakli kholu. Why he lied is still a secret as he maintained his innocence all through.

6. Open the Closet
A serious issue with our society as far as homo-sexuality goes. I have known at least two people who kept it a secret, for obvious reasons though. Hopefully, in future the social stigma attached o it will wither away and people would not have to hide in the closet.

7. Uncle Sam
A first year student who was a localitie was being ragged. He dared the seniors, “My uncle is in ULFA, stay away from me or else don’t tell me I didn’t warn you”. Needless to say, he got away. The fun was, everyone knew he was lying but no one dared to call otherwise.

Weekend Crusades

A phone call woke me up in wee hours of the morning. I had slept late last night and a minor headache crept in. “Sir, will be there in half an hour”. Brilliant! I went back to sleep. Phone rang a second time. A friend called reminding me to get up. What has happened to this world? Why can’t a poor man get a day’s sleep?

Hesitantly, I pulled myself off the bed. After half an hour sharp, I got a call from the driver. Since when have we people become so punctual? Anyways, I took the car, picked up a colleague on the way to an outing with office friends. Cars from other parts of the city too converged at the resort.

To be frank, barring a few, I never tried to get familiar with the group till then. Well, it all changed and how!

Poolside Musical Chairs, Dumb Charades, What’s yours like?, Truth or Dare, Antakshari and few meticulously planned field games were part of our fun entourage. After about 10 hrs of mix and match, we were all on our way back home.

I got to know the importance of such outings. Everyone gelled in together with casual flirtings, intentional fun-fights and jokes galore. I felt at home with the gang. I made friends for life.

Summed up below are few highlights of the trip which I am sure, whoever present, will smile at, for life.

1. Las Vegas Shamed
The marquee of the trip. Outdoing my pole dance, he gave such a scintillating performance of Strip Dance which would even put vegas leggies to shame. The guy was a true sport and great fun. Thanks dude for “What’s yours like?”.

2. What’s yours like?
An extremely novel and intriguing game. Nice connotations attached to it makes it even more exciting. The group selects a “body part” (noise, lips, ears, belly button etc) and the person chosen has to guess it. He can ask 6 people, one single question, “What’s yours like”, who in turn can reply only in “single word or a short phrase” describing their own said body part. The chosen one gets 3 guesses.

When “belly button” was chosen and a girl was asked “WYL”, she curtly replied, “Deep”. We all fell over laughing and the chosen one couldn’t decide on whether to speak his mind or not.

Best hints award went to a colleague who gave either of the two answers all the time, “hard” and “I have two”.

3. Antakshari
Impending Antakshari competition got a good start with this dress rehearsal. The rapid Antakshari was full of fights and arguments, but at the end we all sang together songs from Rafi to Himesh with equal vigor. It is rightly said, “How would have Majnu proposed to Laila, had there not been a lyricist”.

4. Truth or Dare
They clapped at my maiden pole dance. My visual experiences over the years had helped. Thank you Romanian chicks for a good lesson.

5. Dog in the Bone
I gave it my all. Got injured but led my team to victory. My guru has said, “Never try and beat a lady in a game. Its blasphemy”. I disobeyed and had a mighty fall. “Sorry Guruji for me forget teachings of thee”

6. The Salsa dance
Passing the parcel was winner all the way. Salsa dance by the duo was eye popping to say the least. Shucks that I could not learn salsa. Well these are the things which marks the difference between Being Single and otherwise.

7. The Kajal Bhai
The girl could even put God Mother to shame. In a perfect tapori performance, she chedofai, a couple of good looking men as rest of the girls kept devouring eyes on the prey.

8. The mimicry of the boss
The mimicry of the boss was to the T. And accompanying hugs were brilliant.

9. Of Beggars, Proposers and the Seductions
Passing the Parcel threw some excellent performances of begging, proposing (Kya tum mere bachhon ki maa banogi), and seductions (Maar Dala). Never knew we had such budding talent within the group.

10. Win and Near miss
After a long-long time, I got lucky. No, not that lucky. I won Passing the Parcel. “Who’s the boss now…haha”, but lost the straw game narrowly owing to a clever fox of an opponent.

It was one hell of a day which I enjoyed thoroughly. Hope others enjoyed too. Many thanks to all, who worked selflessly to make this trip possible. Looking forward to more such endeavors together.

कौन है तू

रात को आग़ोश में लेने दो,

सुबह को ख्वाब ही रहने दो,

ऐ यार तेरे खुमार में हूँ,

मुझे इस प्यार में डूबा रहने दो|

 

भूख प्यास कोई ना लगती,

सुनता था तो हँसता था में,

पर भूख मरी, जब प्यास मरी जब,

हर पल आहें भरता था में|

 

आँख बचाकर, आँख मिलाना,

अहसासों पर काबू पाना,

सुनने में  ही लगता है,

पर होता नहीं है आसां ये|

 

नींद गयी है, चैन गया है,

तारों की गिनती करता हूँ,

सुबह को कैसे उठ जाऊं में,

रात को सोता कौन सा हूँ|

 

वो पल्लू जो पहिये में अटक गया,

मेरा मन भी उसमें लिपटा  था,

तूने जो फाड़ के फैंका था,

पत्र नहीं वो, दिल था मेरा|

 

माना, किस्मत मेरी खोत्ती है,

पर ज्यादा गुलामी ना होती है,

हाँ कर देगी तो मेरी है,

ना कर दे जो, मर्ज़ी तेरी|

 जीवन का पहिया चलता है,

आगे को, बस आगे को|

 

हसीन सा ख्व़ाब, तू आयी थी,

पर नींद तो टूट ही जाती है,

ओर दिल भी जुड़ ही जाता है,

होगा, किस्मत को जो है मंज़ूर,

कौन हूँ में, कौन है तू ||

Hopes and Ropes

2008 AD

2009 AD

2010 AD

2011 AD

Majboori Ka Naam Mahatma Gandhi: Why?

“Kyon bhai sahab, aaj car ki jagah bus se travel?” “Kya karein, Mazboori ka naam Mahatma Gandhi.”

We use this phrase all the time. Don’t we? If I ask you, “What does Majboori have to do with Mahatma Gandhi?” Most of you would be stumped. Come to think of it, don’t you feel odd that we have coined our Father of the Nation, Mazboori.

In English, Mazboori means obligations, compulsions, and constraints emerging out of sheer helplessness. I asked many people in my office about the origin of the phrase. Noone came close. They were amazed when pointed out that indeed we are calling out father of our nation, helpless.

This brings me to the question, Why? In absence of any concrete definition, there are several explanations floating around. Let’s take them one by one:

Partition Blame

Gandhi looked helplessly and let the nation get divided. His Mazboori was the worst kept secret. All the decisions he took were under pressure and portrayed sheer helplessness.

Last Resort

This is one explanation that paints Gandhi in good light. When all options are over, try Gandhi. When all else failed, he practiced hunger strike, which shook the foundations of an empire. When one is out of money, there is no option but to eat less expensive food and live frugally.

Overcome

Gandhi overcame all the Mazboori’s (difficulties) in his life and led India to independence. Thus whenever there is Mazboori, remember Gandhi, you will find the solution.

Non Violence

Non Violence is taken to be sign of weakness and helplessness. Gandhi preached and followed non violence, hence the phrase.

Currency

Indian currency started having imprint of Mahatma Gandhi. To a poor India, Majboori emanates from money (or lack of it). Thus Mazboori ka naam Paisa aka Mahatma Gandhi.

Gandhi was Majboori

To rely on Gandhi was Majboori of all Indians who wanted independence. As there was no one else who could have fought with Britishers and deliver Azaadi.

Self Destruction

With the world in shambles and on the verge of self destruction, we have no options but to follow steps of Gandhi to save the world. That’s what Anna Hazaare has shown.

Expect the Unexpected

When cornered, people tend to behave unexpectedly. When Gandhi was helpless, with no independence in sight, he turned to innovation. His turned prevalent hunger into a potential Anshan. We all find ways to struggle when turned into a corner. “Necessity is the mother of invention”.

Just for Kicks

Since we were kids, we have been asked to name, Father of Our Nation so many times, that it has become our Mazboorito memorize it.