आँखों में हैं ऐसी तन्हाइयां

मेरी आँखों में हैं ऐसी तन्हाइयां,
कि नींदों में आती बस अंगड़ाइयां|
लगे है बेगाना कुछ ऐसा जहां,
जैसे ओझिल है रातों को परछाइयां|

पास होकर भी वो दूर जाती रही,
मार ठोकर हमें, मुस्कराती रही|
उसकी लानत में है एक ऐसा मज़ा,
बिना उसके ताने, यह जीवन सजा|

उन बातों की यादें, हैं आती मुझे,
कि रातों कि आहट में खोजूं तुझे|
तेरी मुस्कराहट, एक ऐसा नशा,
उन मदहोशियों में, यह बेबस फसा|

जंगल का राजा, होने दो शेर को,
एक दिन तो खदेड़ा वो भी जाएगा|
अगर पास हो शेरनी,  तेरे जैसी तो,
खदेड़ने पर भी राजा वो कहलायेगा|

ऐ काश, रेत रूकती मेरे हाथ में,
समय को भी थमने को कह पाता मैं|
तो साहिल से कराता में पहचां तेरी,
और चुपके से तुझको सता जाता मैं|

होश वालों को होती नहीं जो खबर,
वो खबर मैं नशे में सुनाता रहा|
रात भर मेघ काले, बरसते रहे,
रात भर गीत, मैं गुनगुनाता रहा|

मेरी आँखों में हैं ऐसी तन्हाइयां,
कि नींदों में आती बस अंगड़ाइयां|
लगे है बेगाना कुछ ऐसा जहां,
जैसे ओझिल है रातों को परछाइयां||

Top 5 Tips for Girls to Gain Weight

Of late size zero has become a phenomenon. Humanity has never lost so much weight in history as today. What girls tend to forget is that guys like curves. Slim figure is welcome but zero is not. Most thin girls have a phobia that by gaining weight they will look fat. First of all they should shed this inhibition. A little bit of chubbiness adds to the beauty anytime.

For all those single girls whom I have been able to brainwash into gaining weight by my above appeal, here are certain easy tips. Follow them and you will thrive and men will hover around like a beehive.

Tip No 1 – Find a Guy who lives alone
It’s quite easy to find a guy in metro cities who is working there and lives away from family alone. Such guys tend to eat out most of the times rather than cooking. You will start eating out too. Eating out regularly will add that missing kilos in no time.

Tip No 2 – Hit the bed long
Getting lots of sleep is one of the easiest ways to gain weight. A minimum of 8 hours sleep is necessary. Anything above is a bonus. This way weight gain would be like a dream come true.

Tip No 3 – Beer it
Over the centuries ‘Beer belly’ has been one of the most controversial phrase. But it works and how. Drink beer regularly for a month and you wouldn’t believe how lovely you look with those plum cheeks.

Tip No 4 – Don’t flunk the junk
Go junkie! Those Big Macs, fries, pizzas, pastas are a sure shot path towards glory. Never be scared of the food. Eat as much and as junk as you can.

Tip No 5 – Get married
Easiest of them all! Scientists have been wondering over the years as to why Indian women gain weight so quickly as soon as they get married. Regardless of the reason behind, it works. The only flip side is that you are married now.

Bonus Tip: Call me!

Reincarnations of the Modern Kind

When a Rajinikant movie is released, there are poojans and processions all around. The fans have relegated a mere human to the status of God. In fact over the period of history, there have been several such cases when humans have performed such feats that the followers became worshippers.

They say there is God in all of us. Let’s consider it true for a while. Let’s try and identify the almighty who walk among us and whose reincarnation are they.

1. Shiva

America

The Destroyer. A handsome young man, meditating and minding his own business, when disturbed unnecessarily, opens his third eye and wreaks havoc on the world.Who more similar than America, A place for opportunities, an inviting habitat. But when Japan carried out an unprovoked attack on Pearl Harbor, retaliation was swift and deadly. Even Taliban would agree! Revered and Feared

2. Rama		Sachin Tendulkar

The Maryada Purshottama. Unswerving self control and virtue. The composure and patience never wore out. Perfect adherence to dharma.The choice is unanimous. Sachin Tendulkar.An ideal man and a perfect human. Need I say more?

3. Ganesha		Pranab Mukherjee

Vighnharta. This son of Shiva, hailed as the Remover of Obstacles.For the past 7 years of UPA rule, Pranab Mukherjee is the one to whom Congress run in dire situations, he is Vighnharta for sure.

4. Hanuman		Manmohan Singh

The devotee. Served Rama from the heart.Manmohan Singh was the right hand man of Sonia Gandhi when she was bidding for PM post. Once she decided to sacrifice, her ardent devotee was rewarded. Ever since 7, Race Course has hardly disobeyed 10, Janpath.

5. Durga		Mamta Banerjee

Feminine Force. The Devi riding a lion with a smile. Fearless.Mamta Banerjee has fought against the system for last 35 years in West Bengal single handedly. Her only weapon being her fearless and killer attitude. Durga came into full force in 2011 assembly elections when she ran over her opponents.

6. Lakshmi		Jayalalita

The goddess of wealth, wisdom, prosperity. Sheer good luck and wealth to all the devotees.When IT dept. raided Jayalalita’s premsies, everyone was astounded to see the wealth. She promises her voters cash and kind if they bring her to power.

7. Krishna		Akshay Kumar

The prankster. The raas-leela. An ideal lover. The Supreme Being. The Gyaan of Geeta.Akshay Kumar has always been known to be a ladies’ man. The pranks played by him on his co-stars are a part of a legend. The wit and humor is unquestionable.

8. Annapurna		Big Bazaar

Goddess of food. Supplies food to people.In today’s world its Big Bazaar which fills the hungry stomach. From food to fruit, everything you get by making a wish to Big Bazaar.

9. Vishnu		Common Man

The preserver and protector of creation. Mercy and goodness. It’s a self-existententity.The Common Man by R K Laxmanhas been the face of aam aadmi since eternity. As witty as Vishnu and representing the facets of humanity akin to various avatars.

जल उठी धरती फिर

जल उठी धरती फिर धू धू करके,

फिर हुआ स्तम्भ विस्तंभ आज,

छाती चौड़ी, अब जीता डरके,

गम में मुस्कराना, गहरा राज|

कुछ घना, कुछ गहरा, एक साया,

चहचहा उठे पंची सारे, सांझ भई,

धड़कन बढ़ी, सकुचा, दिल घबराया,

पुराने सब काल हुए, दुर्घटना नई|

कितने हँसे, कितने रोये, क्या गिनती,

मुखौटे से दिखे सब, मूक मय अवाक,

ग्रसित हैं, मुक्त करो, बस यही विनती,

कुछ न बचा, साथ गयी झूठी साख|

एक बटन दबा, एक घनघोर ध्वनी,

चिथड़े उड़े, हर ओर गिरे, सब शांत,

चीख भी उसकी, न निकली, न सुनी,

रो उठे सागर, हिंद से लेकर प्रशांत|

लाचार लगे अब, कुछ न कर पाऊँ,

शीश महल, अब नहीं बचा, चूर-चूर,

घर कब्जाया, खतरा, अब कहाँ जाऊं,

पास था साहिल, लगे अब दूर-दूर|

शैतान था वो, कुकृत्य किया जिसने,

बेबाक जिंदगी, न कभी जिए डरके,

सरफ़रोश हुआ, तृप्त-अमृत पिया उसने

जल उठी धरती जब धू धू करके|

Blasts and News

I shied away from news channels last night. Its rare coz I feed over breaking news. However scenes on TV during 26/11 haunted me for long. There was one more reason; I have been so used to these blasts that I knew very well what would be on news channels. Let’s guess chronologically.

t=0 Blast across the city.

t=5mins Unverified news of explosion in the city. Suspected to be cylinder explosion.

t=10mins Unverified news of series of explosions. Definitely not a cylinder explosion. 10 injured.

t=15mins According to sources, it’s a terrorist attack. Blasts across the city within minutes of each other. 2 dead, 24 injured.

t=30mins Police sources have verified that these are bombings. Blast sites have been cordoned off. Injured being taken to the hospital. 7 dead, 56 injured.

t=1hr Home minister has verified it to be a terrorist attack. Lashkar, IM hand suspected. 15 dead, 87 injured.

t=2hrs Terrorist attack probe begins. IB, Forensic team on the spot. Use of sophisticated technology detected. 25 dead, 117 injured.

t=3hrs City on red alert. India put on high alert. 15 IM suspects rounded up. Investigations on. PM realys message to the nation. 29 dead, 127 injured.

t=5hrs Celebrities vent anger on twitter/facebook. Socialites damn the Security forces. Intellectuals damn the Govt. 34 dead, 149 injured.

t=6hrs Qaidai-al-kalami-jamat takes responsibility for the blasts.

t=7hrs I write this post.

न भूल सका

पहली बार जो तुझको देखा था,
शरमाई औ सकुचाई सी थी,
कुछ डरी औ कुछ घबराई सी थी,
भूला मैं यह सब कुछ, न भूल सका,
बस तेरे चेहरे पर आती हुई वो लट|

बच रही थी तू मुझसे, कौन है यह?
शायद कुछ ज्यादा ही उतावला था मैं,
तिर्छी निगाहों से वैसे, देख रही थी तू,
भूला मैं यह सब कुछ, न भूल सका,
बस तेरी वो पहली नश्तर सी हँसी|

दो घंटे इंतज़ार करवाया था तूने,
पहली बार मिले थे जब हम तुम,
ऐसी नादान बन रही थी तू, क्या कहता,
भूला मैं यह सब कुछ, न भूल सका,
बस तेरी वो बिंदी जो कुछ टेढ़ी थी|

लम्बी लम्बी बातें तेरी, नहीं ख़त्म,
जो होती थी, पक-पक पक-पक तेरी,
न जाने कब अच्छी लगने लगी थी,
भूला मैं यह सब कुछ, न भूल सका,
बस तेरा वो तकिया-कलाम, हाय|

निगाहों का नशा तेरा, रिश्ता मेरा,
तेरा रूठना, मनाना मेरा, पल छिन,
वो प्यार से तेरा मुझ पे मुक्के बरसना,
भूला मैं यह सब कुछ, न भूल सका,
बस तेरी वो आखों की सरफरोशी|

तेरा मेरे पास आना, दूर जाना, सताना,
रोकना मुझे, प्यार बरसना, कतराना,
तेरे नखरे सहना, तुझे कुछ न कहना,
भूला मैं यह सब कुछ, न भूल सका,
बस वो सारे ख्वाब जो तेरे नाम किये||

Grandparents

There was a village amidst the mountains. Total population would not have been more than couple of hundred. It was like a family living in harmony since generations.

Witness to all these years was a banyan tree. None knew exactly how old it was. Prevalent folklore varied its age from thousands to millions of years. All sorts of carvings could be made out from its trunk. Some looked prehistoric, some recent. The tree was so spread out that it acted like a city centre. Everyone hung out, celebrated festivals under it. It was an integral part of village life; a group of happy populous.

One morning people woke up to something. It was a windy day alright; but apart from sand and dust, there was something else in the air. Thousands of banyan leaves were flying around. Whole village soon gathered underneath the tree. It had lost half of its leaves overnight. The freshness of the morning soon turned into realization of a shock.

The tree was dying. The suddenness of the situation was more than anyone could handle. Ladies started weeping. Men could hardly speak. They prayed, pleaded with their Gods. Every avenue possible was explored but to no avail. It was two weeks when the last of the leaf was seen. It was now a dead wood. The life was not the same anymore.

Suddenly the sun seemed hotter, rains heavier and stars aplenty. Years went by and the tales about the age of the tree changed into tales about existence of it. People started to live indoors. There were no community gatherings anymore. It was like the societal fiber just vanished, the thread broken, the elastic snapped.

Similar is the impact of elders in a home. Grandparents we call them. No one knows how old the grandmother is. She was born this old, with wrinkles, for all we know. Nobody knows from where the wisdom of Grandfather comes from. He is The Britannica for all we know.

They are the root that symbolizes the family and keeps everyone together. Once they leave, the sons/daughters become a self existent entity. The family gatherings become less. The circle of life springs into action. Each of those offshoots starts their own family, become old to be called grandparents themselves. The vacuum remains but the life moves on.

Soon number of trees cropped up under the dead root. The city centre was vibrant again. The banyan tree gave way to multitude of trees. New fruits and new flowers; New pours and new showers.

Top 5 Modern Means to Ease Tension

1. Divorce
	A two faced dragon. Post the concept of divorce, couples has been eased out of tension of living unhappily together. It gives a shot at starting life afresh and get out of the lifelong agony.

2. AC
	In hot and humid conditions, mind is not able to reach its optimum production level. Air Conditioning has solved this altogether. Even in extreme conditions, we can choose to live at whatever temperature we want. How the AC soothes our mind and rejuvenates us in those summers.

3. Chocolate Sundae
	There is nothing like a hot fudge, whipped cream Chocolate Sundae that sooth our nerves. After a tiring day, a sundae relieves us like nothing else. Modern life has its goodies to offer.

4. Bungee Jumping
	Not for the faint hearted. The thrill remains us for life. Try it once and you will never be scared in life. It adds thrill to a boring life and eases our mind.

5. Combat Video Games
	Beating the hell out of someone is an age old solution to ease tension. We can beat, kill, and destroy anyone and anything in this virtual world. Believe you me the thrill is the same. Play a “Beat you Boss” at the end of a tiring day and it will outperform a glass of Beer.