Fart by Heart

I am travelling via train to my hometown. Given the upcoming extra long weekend, the trains are bulging with passengers. Just as I settled in my seat and started to take a nap, I woke up with a nauseating smell.

My fellow passenger introduced us to the lunch he took earlier in the day. It was a sickening smell which left us looking for cover in true sense.

My head became heavy and heart beat a notch higher. Just as I tried to acclimatise, the next attack. I lost all my senses and the will to live.

Since all I can think now is fart, I thought to put it to creative use. How does the below things smell now?

1. Flip-fart
2. Fart-tey raho
3. Fart bina chain kaha re
4. Fart-ti utaaroon main
5. My fart will go on…
6. Fart-tiya ilaaz hai bhaisaab.
7. Deepak Chourasia Fart Tak
8. Aisa com-fart aur kahan
9. Fart se maar do isey
10. I like Fartists.

The Air

Remember that moment; when you were alone with a beautiful girl in an elevator. Ah! That ever rising elevator with a stranger. You tucked in your tummy; took out your new Smartphone; swiped your hairs; a curious peak; the most charming smile. Just when you were about to hit pay dirt, a whiff of that air, breaking the silence, causing her to cover her nose and leaving you embarrassed.

Has happened to the best of us. One wonders that air can be this critical. Timing is important too. I had a friend who felt disgusted when someone did it in his presence. His solution was you should go out of the room in case you feel the itch. I reckon what his solution would have been for the elevator.

Another scenario. You are giving an interview. Things are going hunky dory. Then come the air. In a panel interview you can probably deflect the blame. But in a 1-0-1, what can you do? One might even lose the rhythm. No pun intended.

Similar thing could occur during the first date, first day at job, during a presentation. The list is endless. Can we do anything? Well I for one have not been able to. I guess some things are beyond our control. One can either let it pass, or twist in agony till it pass.