The Rat

“Déjà vu”, I wondered as I entered the wash-room. The lid to the drain pipe was off. It has been going on for a week or so, or maybe not. “Maybe, its due to the water flow”, I dismissed and moved on.

Next day, as I was about to take a shower, a small black figure rushed from the corner, into the drain pipe. My worst fears have come true. Ladies and gentlemen, it was a rat. I have a history of living in a house with heritage, with cellar and stories replete. Along with it, was a small matter of continuous supply of rats. That the house was surrounded by vegetable market and sweet shops didn’t help much either. Hence my rat phobia. I once even woke up to feeling of something chugging at my hand, only to find it to be real.

Entire day at office I was engulfed with the thoughts of it crawling up my bed, jumping on me as I was asleep. I tiptoed into the house. Just as I was about to enter the kitchen, it ran off between my legs under the sofa. I tried shooing it in fear with the longest stick I could find, but to no avail.

“You should try the rat kill”, I got a suggestion. I rushed to the medical shop downstairs and bought The cake of green!. I splintered it across the house as directed. After an hour or so, as I rose for water, all pieces had vanished. “Bingo!” I rejoiced. Just then I noticed some activity under the sofa. I got the idea.

Couple of days went by with me living in fear. I didn’t see it anywhere, and hadn’t the courage to move the sofa. I came back after a long night in office. As I entered the kitchen half asleep, I noticed a small figure under the sink. Not sure if it was dead or alive. “Shoo…Shoo…” No movement. I threw a paper ball. No movement. 15 mins went by as I tied the dust band to the broom and somehow managed to move it out of the house.

It was then that I noticed something. Maybe it was a long day; Maybe it was just a hallucination. I saw tears dried up around the rat’s eyes. Was it real? I don’t know. But it made me uneasy. I am not able to wipe it off. The image of those dried tears juxtaposed with him roaming around the house. I had just poisoned a living creature, which could have died a painful death for all I know. Chilling!

सवा तीन रात के

गुमनाम अँधेरा छाया है,
चाँद भी खिल न पाया है,
नीरस मन बिन बरसात के,
सवा तीन बजें जब रात के।

झींगुर मधुर ध्वनि चेते,
कुकुर भी जैसे गूँज गान,
रोग अनिद्रा मारे जोर,
सवा तीन बजें जब रात के।

कोई फुटपाथ पे है सोया,
कोई बिन आंसूं के है रोया,
सब मारे हैं हालत के,
सवा तीन बजें जब रात के।

पंखा सर सर कर चलता,
जैसे सन्नाटे को दबा रहा,
डर लगता हल्की आहट से ,
सवा तीन बजें जब रात के।

पानी पी-२ कर बहला मन,
उत्तर दक्षिण, दक्षिण उत्त्तर,
संजीदा बिन ज़ज्बात के,
सवा तीन बजें जब रात के।

घोड़े दिमाग, दौड़े सरपट,
चेतना पहुंचे चरम सीमा,
सोच पाये पार संसार के,
सवा तीन बजें जब रात के।

ध्यान लगा, तो परम पहर,
अशांत तो काली रात बने,
मृत जीवित हो अंतर धूमिल,
सवा तीन बजें जब रात के।।

Haiku?

Sun came out

I woke up and did the routine

Sun went down

Lucy Movie Ending Explained

After a long time I saw a movie that made me sit down with a pen and paper. Although I have pondered over expanding brain usage in the past but never really went down the road of What if 100%? Lucy went that way and I must say I liked what I saw.

The ending kind of seems puzzled (deliberately so like other movies of this genre). What happens at 100% brain usage can’t anyways be fathomed by us mere 10% souls. 100% goes beyond dimensions and into the meta-physical. Let me try and explain the ending or what I could make of it.

1. Disappearance of Lucy
Lucy already was able to control her body and also matter by that time. Since body is also made of matter, disappearing/disintegrating sounds not that difficult. As she explained earlier maybe she went faster than speed of light which opens all dimensions but invisible to us. As to what happened to her post that is what we will explore ahead.

2. Why make the Super-Computer if all that was left was a pen-drive?
Seems silly on the face of it. Seems like director tried to simplify for the audience and hence the pen drive. Or maybe Lucy thought for current world pen-drive would seem easy to grasp.

What happened was Lucy started merging matter around her as she needed energy. Energy equals mass time speed of light squared. A lot of energy to upload all knowledge she could gather from the starting of time.

Energy was needed not just to create the processing unit for that knowledge but also to convert it into a format understood by normal humans. The pen-drive seems simplistic but it could not have been a simple pen drive. It would need to store huge amount of data maybe TB powers 100 for all we know. All knowledge gathered as she moved through time.

That computer was just for processing data to be able to store into pen drive. Hence computer destroyed itself at the end.

3. If she is so super human and could control time. Why did she die?
Here’s the catch. She did not die. She imbibed herself to all dimensions. She had no need for the body. She can’t feel pain. No happiness. More like a robot. Hence she gave up last piece of vulnerability. Her body. She became omnipresent. Across dimensions, across time, across worlds.

4. Everything she gained was due to her brain. How would she survive now without her brain?
Tricky! She would have what was required. Brain is also matter. She converted her brain along with her body into some other form, which we even don’t know. The meta-physical, omnipresent form. Can be equated to our understanding of God. Invisible to us.

Another sunset, Another sunrise

16th May 2014, the day Indian General Election results started trickling in, was my last day with the firm I was working for. This was not my first resignation and given the dynamics of today’s job market, won’t be my last. Yet there was something unique about the current group I was working with.

This was not just a 9-5 job for me. This was a lot more. The project, the team and myself, bundled together. I worked long hours, yet never felt tired. There was a push each morning to reach office, not only due to excitement and challenge of work, but also due to urge to meet people in the team.

“The gang of 3″ as we came to be known, had great discussions, sometimes bitching about others, sometimes bitching about ourselves and sometimes just gazing the sky. I got a sister here, I got a brother here. It became a home away from home. We had our share of fights. But it was all fun.

I crave for the morning breakfast one used to bring, the evening snacks that other used to get. I can’t forget the pantry arguments, the women empowerment, the battered men talks, the usual gossip and trash talk.

How can I forget the HR bay and rolling eyeballs, the bachelors and their frantic search, the embezzlers and their gusto. The hyper guy in our team, I still worry he might get an attack; you were also a nice guy to work with. The kids that were there, I relish my time explaining you things. I must admit here, most of the answers I also didn’t know. I used to make them up albeit convincingly.

The boss of our team, I admire him a lot. Since he was the boss, so as a religion I cribbed and back-bitched about him. But was a good head to work under. I leaned a lot sitting next to him. The most important thing that I will take with me is how to keep the diverse group sane and happy.

I will miss you all, and would like to keep in touch, wherever I am. I could apologize for anything and everything untoward but then again I meant it all ;).

Signing off,
Arpit Garg

मुठ्ठी भर रेत

छोटी कभी, लम्बी कभी,
है जिंदगी भी कुछ अजीब,
सुलझी कभी, उलझी कभी,
कितनी दूर, कितनी करीब।

बदला मौसम, बादल छाए,
मझधार में नैया, गोते खाए,
पानी अँखियाँ, काली रतियाँ,
सब कुछ खोये, कुछ न पाये।

धड़कता दिल, चढ़ती सांस,
पीता पानी, लगती पर प्यास,
ऊपर से खुश, अंदर उदास,
चलती-फिरती जिन्दा लाश।

कैसी सी है दास्तां ये मेरी,
जाने क्यों हुई आने में देरी,
कहता रहता दिन औ रात,
बिखरे सपने, उजड़े जज्बात।

इस सपने का मोह न जाता है,
गम रह रह कर के आता है,
एक टीस सी अंदर उठती है,
खुद पर ही तरस आ जाता है।

अपने संग सबको दुखी किया,
हवा चली, बुझ गया दिया,
मुठ्ठी में जो दम ना था,
क्यों रेत समाने तू चला॥

Darkness

There is bright side and then there is dark side. It has never been this darker. Always been the confident, doing type of person. Now at the lowest ebb. Feels like all the badness that I could muster, I did, and offloaded it onto all goodness almighty showered on me.

What I did was my fault. Now what I am doing is my penance. Hard to understand, I am sure. Even for me. I lived my life, my happiness. Would be content with that forever. Can’t take high moral ground. Can’t say I didn’t lie. I did lie, even to myself.

A sadness has engulfed me. A gloom. Confidence eroded. No gyan. I suffer.