iPhone 5: A mystic affair

The hype and frenzy every time a new iPhone is launched, seem to be a mystic affair. The zeal surpasses the age groups, the income groups and the continents. What is it that creates this craziness? Is it the new technology? Is it the media built-up? Is it the status symbol?

To a large extent it can be attributed to the herd mentality. “I want it coz if I don’t I won’t be cool”. But that herd comes in later. What drives the early buyers? And it’s not just limited to the buyers. Even the people who can’t afford it are ever more interested. Why so?

We can try and find an analogy in “Who wants to be a millionaire” TV show. What has the TV viewers got to win? Nothing! Still millions sit in front of their TV sets to witness someone else becoming millionaire.

The answer lies in human psychology of “Collective Ownership”. When a new iPhone is launched, it’s not Apple who owns it. The people own it. It is their own. And here is where publicity comes in. Company like Apple would never publicize it as a product by Apple rather it would be an “Apple iPhone”.

Another thing can be the story behind the invention. Would gravity be equally amazing without the back story of the apple that fell? The mysticism surrounding Jobs has flown down to his coveted baby. Do we hear any such story behind say Lumia or Galaxy? No, all we see is a product. But with iPhone it’s much more.

The other reason lies in the legacy. People loved iPhone coz of the technological advancements Jobs envisaged and brought to life. Similar was the case with a 4.8inch android phone recently. It was something novel. People thronged for it. Give the people something innovative and having high standards and they will make you a billionaire.

It won’t be long when people will ditch iPhone. Yes, we are that cruel. We are just waiting for the next messiah. Till then revel Apple in the limelight, as much as you can.

Scared Humans

We humans are such afraid beings. We are afraid of sun, we are afraid of moon, we are afraid of rain, we are afraid of pain. In fact, one does not come to know how scared one is without experiencing it firsthand.

Last month I was facing acute pain in my right eye, right side of nose and right side in the mouth. I keep ignoring it as usual and allaying myself with pain killers. The regular excuses of “No time” and “It will be alright”.

One fine day, I was having lunch with a colleague of mine. I shared about this pain. He looked at me and bam, “Dude, you might have Bell’s Palsy”. I couldn’t properly understand the word at first. Quizzically, I looked towards him. He took out his cell phone and googled and explained it to me. It’s facial paralysis. He went on and on and one.

With his each passing explanation, I began to shudder. How long has the pain been? Is it only on one side or the whole face? Can you pinch your cheek to see if you feel anything? I was white with fear. All my excuses and machoness took a hike. I immediately called up the hospital nearby and took and appointment with a dentist and an ophthalmologist.

Fortunately it was just dryness in the eye, sore nose and sensitivity in the teeth. All three separate problems pounding at once causing a smokescreen of terror.

Anyway, the point is humans can be scared the easiest because we let our psyche get attached.

गया काम से तू

लबों की वो लाली,
पल पल की गाली,
चढ़ती मदहोशी साली,
गया काम से तू|

थी जुराबें गुलाबी,
छंछंनाती पाजेबें,
मोरनी से हैं पंजे,
गया काम से तू|

मटकती सी आँखें,
दिल में हैं झांकें,
हैं नश्तर चलाती,
गया काम से तू|

उलझी सी जुल्फें,
कि थोड़ी तो सुल्झा,
लगाती हैं फांसी
गया काम से तू|

इधर तिल उधर तिल,
थकता ना गिन गिन,
हैं नजरें चुराते,
गया काम से तू|

मजबूर है दिल,
बड़ा है ये कातिल,
जबसे उसे मिल
गया काम से तू||

Some Vintage Days

Some vintage days, gone are they

Some vintage memories, left

Ups and Downs, gave they to us,

Heavy and Light talks abuzz

Those lengthy evenings, graphs and charts

Those bickering, arguments tarts

Whatever you told, I often repulsed

But the words come back to me

You said it from your experience

I could not grasp much then

They hit me now, like wine of old

All said and done, memories built,

Will meet, paths will cross again,

Some vintage days, gone are they

Some vintage memories, left.

Friendship Day. Really?

Just got a call from a long time friend. “Hey pal. How r u?”, asked he. “I’m fine”, said I. “Just called to wish you friendship day”. And we both laughed to tears for next 30 secs or so. A day for friendship. Who are we Colonists? Ok, bad joke.

Friendship is the essence of humanity. Why is there a need to put a day for it? Ok…let me try and go with it a bit. It’s friendship day, today. What am I supposed to do? Call up my friends? Greet them? Shouldn’t I be had been doing it regularly if they are my friends?

Historically such days were declared to celebrate some achievement. Independence Day, Republic Day etc. What I feel is sometime down the line, it became a fashion to declare days just for the sake of it. I mean friendship day? Who are we Invaders? Again, bad joke.

In college I understand, it gives a shot at maaroing chance. What after that? Also with declaring days with increasing frequency, it’s not far when we will be marking more than one thing on a single day. Imagine Friendship Day and Animosity Day falling together. That would be hilarious, now wouldn’t it?

To me it seems yet another capitalistic agenda to mint money. Friendship band, cards, gifts, tv, movie and what not. That’s genius by the way. Respect.

With the scale getting larger year by year, not long before I get mutated too. Who knows my friend, you will get a card from me next year.

This Lonely Isle

I could not fathom the smile,
Lovely pink, shining white,
I just remember the pleasure,
Stranded on this lonely isle.

Thumb which I sucked slowly,
Hiding face, feeling secure,
I just remember the comfort,
Lying on this rocky isle.

The fights, the arguments,
All leading to truce; embrace,
I just remember shouting at you,
Mumbling on this silent isle.

Mad, immature, childish,
Teaching, Preaching Day n Night,
I just remember you nodding,
Gazing at this unresponsive isle.

Pushing me away, No No No,
Mighty struggle in my arms,
I just remember you losing,
Fighting this unrelenting isle.

Calling at unearthly hours,
Talking for long, without care,
I just remember fighting sleep,
Insomniac, this uncomforting isle.

Forcing me, Adamant you,
Holding it, fingers wrapped,
I just remember the feel of it,
Lying dry, this barren isle.

I think, I never said enough,
How lovely you, how smitten I,
If only we could meet again,
Separated by this isolate isle.

Of Batman and Bollywood

With anxiety about the latest Batman flick running Everest high, Christian Bale is the name on everyone’s lips. This masked and caped vigilante has brought a sense of respect to comic books, missing till now. There have been many a actors who have donned the cowl over the years ranging from the heroic Val Kilmer to the forgettable George Clooney.

This led me to wonder how would the character have panned out had our own Bollywood stars played The Batman. Let see one by one.

1. Salman Khan
	The accented Khan would have suited best as when he speaks in accent he is hardly intelligible, much like Batman whisper. How awesome would it have sound. Catwoman: “Tumne Gotham ke liye bahut kuch kiya. Ab bas karo”. Batman: “Nahin, ek baar jo maine commitment kar di, toh main apne aap k bhi nahin sunta”.

2. Shahrukh Khan
	He is no alien to wearing tight body suits and saving the town. Unlike Batman, his sign would be posing sideways with arms stretched out. Whenever he would do that, Inspector Gordon would run into his arms with music in the background.His melodrama and his enemies would die weeping. Casting Robin for him would be a no brainer!

3. Akshay Kumar
	A flirt Batman. A Kishen Kanhiyya. More like Bruce Wayne, partying with models on his yacht. His endless gags one after the another and his enemies would go insane laughing. Dialogue: “Mein apne desh ka pehla launda hoon jo chimkadad ban ke ud riya hoon.”

4. Ajay Devgn
	The Singham Batman would break the fingers when pointed at. Aata majhi satakli, aali le aali Joker, teri baari aali. The superhero with tilted head would be famous for car chases, blowing and flying cars as he chases his enemies in Bat Car.

5. Saif Ali Khan
	The cool urbane Batman with a sheepish smile. “Ek baar mein samajh gaye ki main Batman hoon ya mein waapas ghoom ke aaoon”. He has his readymade Batgirl in Kareena. He would roam around flirting with umpteen girls while his enemies would get eliminated. “Bade aaraam se”.

6. Aamir Khan
	The perfectionist Batman. He would sleep hanging upside down at the ceiling, lest the character gets diluted. He would surgically get bat wings and paint his face black. Instead of fighting crimes, would fly away and live with bats in their caves. His logic, Bat’s don’t fight crimes, they just hang upside down and terrorize people.

7. Abhishek Bachchan
	This would be the first Batman of its kind. Liberation! Instead of the Cape, he would be donning a gown. Instead of all black, it would be all red and pink. He would charm his enemies and live with him happily ever after.