कश्मीर त्रासदी: माँ के आंसू

न देखा कभी सैलाब ऐसा,
क्या ऐसी भूल मुझसे हुई,
चहुंओर नीर तांडव पसरा,
लगा रात रोई है माँ मेरी।

प्रकृति कहर था सुना बहुत,
दिखा तो मेरी रूह काँपी,
जल-थल आपस में समा गए,
लगा रात रोई है माँ मेरी।

धन-धान सबकुछ तबाह हुआ,
मुह मोड़ तूने न सुनी दुआ,
हिम्मत भी मेरी डगा गयी,
लगा रात रोई है माँ मेरी।

बन्दूक से दुश्मन करता वार,
सह जाता वो भी एक बार,
पन-हमले से ऐसा लाचार,
लगा रात रोई है माँ मेरी।

हूँ दाने-दाने को मोहताज,
अपनों से भी मैं बिछड़ गया,
है नदी जहाँ था भरा बाजार,
लगा रात रोई है माँ मेरी।

मानव, जंतु सब बहे निढाल,
मेरा घर क्यों तूने छीन लिया,
अमृत ही है विष बन बैठा ,
लगा रात रोई है माँ मेरी।

डर लगता मुझको सन्नाटा,
दुआ आज मैं बस यही करूँ,
हिम्मत मुझको देना दाता,
माँ के आंसू मैं पौंछ सकूँ।।

Tears of Joy

I have come to realize of late that I am getting too mechanical and work oriented. Day by day my life has started revolving more and more around office. Far cry from the days of the old. However somewhere deep down my old self has not been able to come to terms with this change. It has been in denial.

Today however that discussion was put to an end. I was stuck in some coding work which I was not able to crack. It has been 4 days and I was half mad already. As you grow in experience, you are required to solve things all by yourself. You can’t look up to others to help you out all the time. And so there I was with all my struggle.

I tried all tricks in the book but to no avail. For me a part of it comes as I feel my reputation is at stake. It’s a totally different thing altogether that I don’t have much reputation for real.

Where were we? Yes. It happened so that I was able to solve the pending issue. Like always it was the last place I would have looked. Anyways I was so relieved that emotions got better of me. For the first time I was close to what we can call Tears of Joy out of my office work.

I think that settles it my old self, I am for bad or for good, no longer the devil may care.  Another one tamed.

The day I cried

What is the most passionate human emotion? Love, happiness, anger, sadness would be some guess perhaps. Well, not exactly. It would be tears. The singlemost, strong emotion on earth. You feel happy, Tears of joy. You feel sad, Tears of sorrow. You feel angry, unable to control yourself, Tears of madness. You fall in love, Tears of passion. You feel hurt, Tears of pain. You are caught red handed, Tears asking for forgiveness. When someone departs, Tears of loss. When your child excels, Tears of pride. The list is endless. Tears span all emotions.

Let me admit at the onset, I do cry sometimes. Not in public though. After all I have to keep my male ego going.  I have never even imagined myself doing so. Would be a highly embarrassing moment. Or so I thought!

Last time I remember myself crying was when my grandfather died. I was in my hostel room when my sister called me. The tears just flowed, they were spontaneous. But it all got over with no one around.

This time it was an auspicious and public occasion. My sisters wedding. I was busy with arrangements and couldn’t foresee what was to come. It was the Ladies Sangeet function. Few words about this Ladies Sangeet. It is organized as a pre-wed ritual on a grand scale in North. Stage is set up. Professional dance and music troop is called. Everyone from the family is supposed to dance. However good or bad it might be.

I am not a type to dance or sing. So I decided to duck via what I could do. Say a poem. Little did I know that it would prove to be my nemesis. There wasn’t enough time so I jotted down a few lines and added tit-bits from my older writings. Everything seemed fine. I was through with most of the lines. I had just described an incidence from our childhood and there were awes all around.

As I reached the end where I chastised her for deserting us, something happened. I can’t describe it. I tried to resist myself, cautious of being on stage and eyes staring at me. Couldn’t help it. The tears followed. What a Man was I!

I managed to finish the poem just in time to see my crying sister rushing towards me. And the worst part, I was forced to dance too. Here is what I wrote.

“बचपन की एक बात पुरानी,
कुछ सुनो तो कुछ में कहूं कहानी,
मैं बीच रस्ते चेंटा था,
कुछ हठ था भरा कुछ रूठा था,
मुझे था वही खिलौना लेना,
जिस में थे दो तोते और एक मैना|
पैसे थे चार जरूरतें थी दस,
मैं रो रो कर चिंघडाया था,
माँ ने भी थप्पड़ लगाया था,
तभी किसी ने प्यार से थपकाया था,
माँ मुझे कुछ नहीं है लेना,
भैया का बस चुप कर दो रोना|

वैसे भी ऐसा क्या मांगे वो,
बस दो तोते और एक मैना,
बस दो तोते और एक मैना|
…
…
आज तू बिदा हो है चली, बाबुल का घर छोड़ के,
बनाने चली तू नए रिश्ते, पुरानों से मुहँ मोड़ के,
कुछ और देर तक रहती तो, मिल बैठ के बातें करते हम,
कुछ बात पुरानी कहता मैं, कुछ गम मिल-जुलकर करते कम,
कुछ और देर तक रहती तो (सिसक-सिसक), मिल बैठ के बातें करते हम,
कुछ बात पुरानी कहता मैं, कुछ गम मिल-जुलकर (सिसक-सिसक)…”