Sketches: Imitation

Pareshan

Dreamy

To the land of depressing

From planes and flats, 

Playing cats, bats, rats,

With air so refreshing,

To the land of depressing.

From the days of nothing,

Eat, sleep, greet is everything,

Where no need of interesting,

To the land of depressing.

From the hardly any seen,

Experiences all have been,

Still everyone joyfully sing,

To the land of depressing.

From the everyone a friend,

Chilling out permanent trend,

No broken fences need mending,

To the land of depressing.

From the sights of evening troll,

Gallivanting groups one and all,

Long walks, still fresh, no panting,

To the land of depressing.

From the food fruits natural,

Available to each boy or girl,

Own roof all, no need renting,

To the land of depressing.

From the feeling of I’m home,

Neither Paris, nor gives Rome,

Every touch soothing caressing,

To the land of depressing.

Talkative Lady in the Train: Real Experience

I am on the Upper Berth of the train. There is a talkative lady on the lower berth. She has a lot of stories. I a listening intently and jotting down for you all. So here there are:

Vasihno Devi and Theft of Purse: One I made plans to Vaishno Devi. I was travelling via train. My whole purse (like it can done in parts too) was stolen. A lot of money, jewellery was stolen. We informed TT; searched a lot but didn't find it. But Mata ka Aashirvaad. We reached Vaishno Devi and came back with just the money we had. 

A drunken guy in train: Once I was travelling in train. There was a drunken guy who was making nuisance. It was very late and kept the light of the compartment on. When I asked him to shut it off, he saw me like he will kill me. Then we called TT, who called police and he was ejected from the train.

AGM and sweeping the floor: I work in State Bank of India. In our branch there is no sweeper allocated. Staff is expected to Sweep the floor in the morning. When I was transferred to this branch, they expected me also to sweep the floor. I said no. They threatened me that AGM Sir will become angry. I told them straightforward, let AGM come and sweep the floor. I won’t do it. And if I am threatened, I will complain in writing.

Clearly written Cancer and still you people eat: She is giving a lecture to a fellow passenger who is chewing Tobacco. “Likha hai ki cancer hoga, phir bhi kha rahe ho”. My husband is also like that. Whole house is full of dirt due to the wrappers. We have regular arguments on this issue. Teeth also go bad and it causes cancer too. Whole wash-room is dirty red. I was once travelling in train. I saw a group of South Indians. None of them chewed Masala/Tobacco. They had such nice shining teeth.

No patience in UP people: My in laws are from UP. These people are so fighting type. They have no patience and ready to argue. They don’t even respect each other. No love. “Bas ladwa lo. Shaadi ke baad shuru shuru mein toh itni ladayi huyi inke Gharwaalon se, pooch mat”. 

My husband is no good: Me and my husband both are working. He has a four wheeler, I just have a two wheeler. Never has he said that you take the car today. Kabhi Nahin. Saara ghar mein sambhaloon, kaam bhi karoon. He is no good.

Her stories are never ending. I will stop listening to her now.

There were days when I wanted to fly

There were days when I wanted to fly,

Into the fresh air, across the blue sky,

On top of the world, higher than the high,

There were days when I wanted to fly.

There were days when I wanted to shine,

Better than the best, raising glass of wine,

Wake up at eight, on top of world by nine,

There were days when I wanted to shine.

There were days when I wanted to die,

Greetings to none, just smile and say bye,

Enough excitement, deep breath and sigh,

There were days when I wanted to die.

There were days when I wanted to sleep,

Take a sound rest, no alarm dare to beep,

Relieve myself from tensions knee deep,

There were days when I wanted to sleep.

There were days when I wanted to live,

Longer than eternity, some take some give,

A cheerful life, every minute high five,

There were days when I wanted to live.

There were days when I wanted to kill,

Prehistoric instincts to turn a prey nill,

People scared, give a war cry so shrill,

There were days when I wanted to kill.

Now is the time when I want nothing,

Neither to dance, nor want to sing,

Just gaze at stars till morning chirping,

Now is the time when I want nothing.

Sabne Khaya, Ab Hum Khayenge

So the new motto of BJP seems to be, "Sabne Khaya, Ab Hum Khayenge". At least that's what's showing from their defences of their leaders on Lalit Modi controversy.

Rajiv Shukla, Shashi Tharoor were implicit with Lalit Modi. So Congress is no better. Sharad Pawar is himself deep into this, hence NCP should keep its mouth shut. We got AAP's Tomar arrested, hence our Tawde and Irani are not to be questioned. Is Dushyant worse than Vadra? After all Raje and Dushyant are born royals, Vadra wasn't even born a Gandhi. That's BJP's argument.

For each allegation, BJP is doing nothing but throwing dirt on others. Modi Sir, Congress was thrown out due to Corruption a year back. Do you forget? Maun-Mohan lost respect as did nothing in a bid to cling on to his post. Do you forget? NCP is down to dust. Do you forget? We believed you Modi ji, not some Swaraj, Jaitely, Singh, Irani, Raje. We believed you.

From, "Naa Khayenge, Naa Khane Denge", you say, "Sabne Khaya, Ab Hum Khayenge". Ok Congress, AAP, NCP, JDU, RJD have no moral right to question you, if that's your argument (silly as it may be). Do I, as a citizen of India, have any right or not? Or you and your party will put your dirty tricks Dept, against me too?

Congress didn't vote for you. AAP didn't vote for you. We did. Even those who didn't, they also have a right to ask. Or should we all go to Pakistan, There is a vast difference between what you say and do. You say that all people are equal, that no one should destroy communal harmony. But I see no action. You in fact promoted one such person to be a Minister. People are now seeing through your hollow words Sir. 

It took a movement to rally people behind you, to make Congress Mukt Bharat. We all fought hard. You and your party is destroying everything. You are no different than Congress. Even worse, as Congress was a known culprit. You dig the dagger under guise of a friend.

What happens after death?

“So, how was it?” asked a voice. How was what and where is this voice coming, I wondered. What is this place, I wondered next. An unending white room. Some kind of dream, is it? “So, how was it?” same voice again. This time even louder. “How was the experience?”

I tried recollecting my memory. Last I remembered, I was walking down the road and the phone call. Ah! Yes, the phone call. I was leaning against the wall. Someone tried to point out something to me. I couldn't understand what. Then all blank. I remember now. Something fell on my head. Oh! My God. Am I hallucinating? Or was it all just a dream?

“So, how was it?” the voice again. And this time a face too. Astonishing! it was my own face. A person looking exactly like me walked towards me. “So, how was it this time? Oh! My bad, you are still not washed off earth memories”. He blinked twice and smiled. The very moment, I remembered everything. 

This was the place, which earthlings called heaven. We call it our home. Earth for us is just an extended laboratory. A simulator. We try and put ourselves in different situations and gauge the result. This gives us the best possible approach in different scenarios. We occur in pairs. Two similar beings.

One of us goes covert and assume role of a human on earth. Other one overlooks and studies as it unfolds. “It was painful”, said I. “You threw the god-damn piano from the balcony”, I shouted. “Why couldn't you have made less painful a death?”. He chuckled, as if getting a narcissistic pleasure. 

“So what’s the result this time”, I enquired. “Well it’s failure again”. You see we have been trying to find a perfect recipe for us to remain happy our entire life, but have failed every-time. This was out 1,21,245th simulation. All negative.

This time , it was your neighbours car. It was bigger than yours and you grudged him to the verge of stop enjoying your life. The cardinal sin to covet did you in this time. Time for next simulation.

लौट भी आ तू

दिन कटते न हैं अब बिन तेरे,
रातें भी है कितनी सूनी सी,
बातें भी करने लगा मैं कम,
लौट भी आ तू, बहुत हुआ अब।

 

खाना रखे रखे जाता है सूख,
सुबह से शाम न लगती भूख,
तेरे हाथ से ही तोड़ूंगा व्रत,
लौट भी आ तू, बहुत हुआ अब।

वो शाम पहर, वो सुस्ताना,
वो आँखों से मस्ती छलकाना,
तेरी नटखट शोख अदाएं हाय,
लौट भी आ तू, बहुत हुआ अब।

 

ये भीगी भीगी सुबह मुझको,
याद दिला, कर देती गुमसुम,
एकटकी लगाये, यही आस,
लौट भी आ तू, बहुत हुआ अब।

 

समुंदर पार, पूरे सात सात,
न दीदार तेरा, न हुई बात,
विरह की तड़प, न मुलाकात,
लौट भी आ तू, बहुत हुआ अब।

 

मेरी छोटी छोटी बातों पर,
बिल्ली सा तेरा घुर्राना था अच्छा,
लगे लाख गुना इस सन्नाटे से,
लौट भी आ तू, बहुत हुआ अब।

 

अब आ जा तू, बस आ जा तू,
मेरे सर पर हाथ फिरा जा तू,
कल आँख खुले, तू सामने हो,
लौट भी आ तू, बहुत हुआ अब।